Awareness

-Individual
Awareness of feeling or being different
Gay: “I wonder if there is something strange about me?”
Lesbian: “I feel pulled toward women in ways that I don’t understand”

-Group
Awareness of different sexual orientations in people
Gay: “I had no idea how many gay people there are out there!”
Lesbian: “I had no idea there were lesbian/gay people out there.”

Exploration

-Individual
Exploration of strong, erotic feelings for people of the same sex(or a particular person of the same sex)
Gay: “I want to be closer to men (or a certain man).”
Lesbian: “The way I feel makes me think I’d like to be sexual with a woman.”

-Group
Exploration of one’s position regarding lesbians/gays as a group (both attitudes and membership)
Gay: “I think a lot about fitting in as a gay man and developing my own gay style.”
Lesbian: “Getting to know lesbian/gay people is scary but exciting.”

Deepening/Commitment

-Individual
Commitment to self-knowledge, self-fulfillment, and crystallization of choices about sexuality.
Gay: “I might be willing to live with a male lover.”
Lesbian: “ I clearly feel more intimate sexually and emotionally with women than with men.”

-Group
Commitment to personal involvement with referenced groups, with awareness of oppression and consequences of choices.
Gay: “I get angry at the way heterosexuals talk about and treat lesbians and gays.”
Lesbian: “Sometimes I have been mistreated because of my lesbianism.”

Internalization/Synthesis

-Individual
Synthesis of love for women or men, sexual choices, into overall identity
Gay: “I feel deep commitment about my love for other men.”
Lesbian: “I am deeply fulfilled by my relationships with women.”

-Group
Synthesis of identity as a member of a minority group, across contexts
Gay: “I rely on my gay/lesbian friends for support, but I have some good heterosexual friends as well.”
Lesbian: “I feel comfortable with my lesbianism no matter where I am or who I am with.”